Obviously Patrick has never flown Southwest Airlines. I was a dedicated SWA customer before I moved to France. Once SWA serviced my area I never flew another airline. SWA's system rocks, it's first come first served. And boy are those people fast. The plane fills up front to back. Sure, you're screwed if you're the last person on the plane, but isn't that always true?

Not to sound like a commercial, but I think SWA maintains the best on time record of all domestic American airlines. And they have, hands down, the best safety record. Of course, they don't have any in-flight meals to deal with, and it sucks to fly cross-country with them, as they rarely have direct flights, but hey, for the short jumps (or even medium jumps) they're the bomb.

I'm surprised Patrick didn't even mention SWA. They've obviously departed from the norm, and it's working. Patrick, your ignorance is showing ;)

if your spouse could no longer have sex with you?

What I think is interesting about this letter is the husband said his sexual relationship with his wife "fell off dramatically, partly due to a medical condition" I think I have that quote about right. LW, only "partly"? What was the other part?

LW says he quit "cold turkey" a few months ago. Is the wife's sexual unavailability continuing? Is so, and it sounds like it, what are they doing now to with this sexual unbalance? Is sounds to me like LW isn't having any sex. Can we read that between the lines? Because for me, the LW is still not having sex with his wife. He seems to have written off the idea of a sexual relationship with his wife in return for being taken care of in his old age.

Leaving the question of prostitutes aside (though I'm strongly in the camp of "do not tell") I'm wondering if LW has been celibate for these last few months, and if it's really that situation that's leading to his obvious depression. I know if I was married to someone, who for whatever reason, I felt couldn't satisfy me sexually, I'd be pretty damn depressed.

For me, the problem isn't whether the LW paid for sex, it's what is he going to do now that he's decided it isn't a good idea anymore. He seems trapped more by his sexless (I think) marriage than by his job situation. What a strange letter.

I ask "the forum" of letter writers out there: What would you do if your spouse couldn't, or wouldn't have sex with you anymore?

Me, I'd work out some kind of agreement, with compromises on both sides. How about mutual masturbation? Or oral sex (which is what I'm presuming he got from his prostitutes). Maybe the real problem is his wife won't go down on him and he on her. I'm just saying.

Thanks for a nice, peaceful letter, LW, and ditto on the response Cary!

I thought the comments were helpful and useful on being gay in a small town. I want to address the career part of the letter. I was like you at about your age (20 years ago!), no education, didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, etc. A friend suggested a career planning class at the local community college. Best advice I've ever received in my life! You take a bunch of tests to see, not only your natural talents, but your personality and the things you like doing.

But that's not all, if you take a class, as opposed to just taking the test, you'll also learn how to search for careers in this massive book put out every year by the employment office (I forget the name of it DOT? anyone know? it was 20 years ago!). I remember finding "glove sewing" as a career! Who'd a thought. Apologies to all those glove makers out there.

You'll also learn how to write a resume, cover letter, how to dress for an interview, etc. But also, how to find education and training requirements for any job you might be interested in. You can look up what the future trajectory of you chosen career might be.

I found out I was most closely matched to be a first grade teacher and that it was a faster than average growth industry due to all the teachers at retirement age. I went on that path, ended up at UC Berkeley, graduated with honors in English then went to work for a dotcom! Seduced by $$$.

20 years later I'm living in France teaching English and having the time of my life.

You never know where you're gonna end up but it helps to be exposed to ideas and possibilities you never thought of. At least it did for me.

Plus, LW, you're over 25 and don't make much money, you'd clean up in the financial aid department! if you decide to go the college route.

Good luck to you!

"...older women are great lovers, mostly because they are so grateful"--or something like that.

I'm an "older" woman, so don't flame me!)

"breaking the waves" a long, slow, difficult movie that examines the question of hearing the voice of god (not capitalized, by me, on purpose). The experience has never left me.

I think it took me about three days to finally finish watching the film, so take your time.

My "prayers" are with you Ms Bauer. Good luck on your journey.