Just like the false choice of 1. Stay in Iraq or 2. the Utter and Complete Defeat of FREEDOM that the Bush administration presents to us on an almost daily basis, RealName's insistence that Bonds is either 1. The Best Player ever beyond reproach or 2. Worthy of a drawn and quartered execution is just as dubious.

All the vast majority of Baseball fans want is a nod to the 800-pound gorilla that is the beyond-a-reasonable-doubt conclusion that Bonds has cheated for part of his career and in light of this, throw us a bone. I'm not sure what the solomonic solution is in this case, but it damn well better acknowledge the fact that (as in the weird "decision" about Pete Rose) that he has, through his own actions that he undertook as a sentient being who has made decisions about himself since adulthood, done more harm to the game than good.

A game, BTW, that he owes his life to. After all, Bonds would probably had been pretty lousy at anything else, given his attitude towards his fellow human beings (to see the indisputable truth of this, one only has to watch his recent "reality" show – never has a network tried so hard to make an asshole look good and failed so miserably because of said assholes inability to care about anyone but himself).

So no, RN, Barry can keep his hands. But if I never have to see his smirking mug ever again, it will be too soon.

I hope you didn't wet the desk chair with that rant.

Dude, you're up to 1769 letters as of today. Salon's only been keeping track of post counts for a little over a year now. That's ALOT of wet desk chair since your tone is generally the same in all of your posts: pissing contest whiny snark with a serious Neo-Con streak. You and Bonds would probably get along famously. You could sit around complaining about all the pussies and flick boogers at the commoners. It's all we're good for, anyway.

I can't read a "Letters" section in Salon without running into your snark. It's friggin' everywhere, and you so rarely add to the conversation. So, let me add myself to legion of people on this site in imploring you to get a job, a girlfriend (or boyfriend) or maybe a hobby that involves the outdoors.

So here's the question I have for the Carry Nation Temperance Union here.

See? Snark. When you're done mentally fellating Barry maybe you could get some perspective. "Mediocre hitters who suddenly jack their BA" aren't eclipsing one of the most famous sports records ever. Apples and oranges.

You all stood on your coolers in the parking lot chanting against Barry the Poster Boy. Which of course will fix everything.

Once again, nice extrapolation. I don't want to fix everything. I just want Barry Bonds to be banned from the sport. That's it. His actions and attitude ruined any chance of anyone but the most ardent fan (present company included) to ever think of him as anything other than Barry the Cheater.

So here is what I propose. Let's put an asterisk next to every stat for every player in the MLB for the last 20 years. Just to be sure. Let's in fact do away with historical stats. There will always be something to corrupt them.

Yes, many professional athletes will cheat if given half the chance. You want to give everyone caught cheating an asterisk, that's fine. But that also includes your precious Barry. Plus none of these people lied to a grand jury.

Blah, blah... MLB lowered the height of the mound... blah, blah... Tommy John... blah, blah... joint replacement... How is that any different than a drug?

Well for one, these thing were either rules changes instituted by the league that affects everyone equally, a surgery that is (so-far) 50-50 in its effectiveness (seen Kerry Wood pitch lately?) and a bit of pure speculation about the durability of artificial joints in the future. None of these were drugs specifically banned by the league that someone lied about using. I'm not sure what drives you to be such a Bonds apologist, but small rodents could see the difference between your "issues" and what Barry has done.

But hey guys, you stay chanting atop your coolers in the parking lot. Have a cold mug of smug angry self righteousness on me.

Self righteousness, smuggery and anger have zilch to do with this. And I don't drink or stand on coolers in parking lots, both of which can lead to nasty falls.

We could take the opposite approach to your argument and say "Fine, let them put anything into their bodies that they want!" but that would undermine the basic premise of professional sports: an even playing field where the only things you have to rely on our your brains, brawn and the neuron receptors between both. And it wouldn't change the fact that Barry Bonds is a cheater and your bending yourself into little knots figuring out how to justify it.

Can I go now? I've got work to do.

...when faced with facts, RN turns and runs.

You're free to go whenever you want

Right, so are you. Off to torture the Iraq War thread again with your generalizations about "Salon readers"?

But clearly you'd rather be hated than ignored.

Says the guy who posts 20+ times a day. Hi, kettle? It's pot!

Your move, brightlight. Oh by the way I didn't read your post.

Well, I guess my day is ruined. I'll just come down off this cooler in the parking lot...

...why even post about it. Or are those pained sighs about the inevitable direction of the letters page really not that all that pained. Here comes the screaming... and the web hits...