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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
Saverino
Published Letters: 35 Editor's Choice: 1
Keillor, who is known to older fans as "The Old Scout", slyly omits the context of the neighborhood brawl he tripped over and fell into. Contacted by a frequent guest of his radio show and an old ally with political connections, Keillor thought it would be a nice little hoot to do a folksy fundraiser. He didn't anticipate any opposition because, alas, he's a local celebrity. His account of hordes of picketing Catholic highschool students is wildly exaggerated and he knows it.
His "commentary" today is merely a desperate attempt to lick his wounds after being berated by other locals and he needs a national platform to do it, for he can't afford to look like a bumpkin as a major film is released. Keillor has always tried to straddle the wire which seperates "The Old Scout" from the valiant community activist he'd like to be, so small-town, yet so cosmopolitan. He even lived in Denmark for a time. It's sad we natives can't share his vision of urban developement, especially in a special neighborhood, where the "preservationists" wish to remove DeLasalle High School altogether and be rid of those pesky kids wandering past the restored rowhouses. Keillor doesn't really hate the Catholic Church. He just hates kids, the mess and the noise, real or imagined. Just ask his.
We're always glad to see Fritz Mondale, that loveable old war criminal. As Senator, he helped out in a cheerful manner with the Vietnam War (another "liberal" who supported it until the Nixon seizure) and voted on the embargo which destroyed the Biafran people. As Vice-President, there's some delightful file video of him standing behind that wretched hypocrite, Jimmy Earl Carter, signing the treaty which armed the Indonesian army and we're sure that 250,000 dead East Timorese are grateful to old Fritz as he grinned and nodded his head. Yes, we always greet Fritz with a big "Howdy, thug!" whenever we run across him at the local Starbucks or over at Macalester College. For some reason, he's not so friendly. Maybe his conscience bothers him from time to time.
The Old Scout raises clear and true points about the destruction of the Bill of Rights, but it didn't help when he didn't object to setting the stage for it. A gentle reminder to all about the Omnibus crime bill slam-dunked by Billy Jeff Clinton with some truly vile security measures thrown in. Minnesota Senators and Congresspersons from both parties swooned and voted in favor. Fritz Mondale, though retired so acting as some kind of deranged "elder statesman" almost lost control of his bladder as he informed us that it was for the good of the country.
It seems almost like a case of who suspends that pesky old habeus corpus, eh? Good luck, Garrison. You'll have to dig your own foxhole for this fight, because there's not enough room in mine.
What do we end up with? Dynamite Dick Cheney as the new Occupant? The Old Scout seems not to think five minutes into the future. Perhaps we could have a special election and Dynamite Dick goes down in flames, but then what? Will the Democrats step forth with someone able to save us or will we end up with Ms.Clinton, our very own cornpone Evita? A gentle reminder: her husband set the stage in 1996 for the Patriot Act.
God or whoever bless us, everyone. A Christmas epistle from the Old Scout that doesn't attempt to revive the legends of Smilin' Jack Kennedy, Hubert the Hump Humphrey, or good old "Fritz" Mondale or try to duck and weave over the fact that the Old Scout himself is a closet racist with quasi-Fascist views who likes to wear the smiley-face mask of "liberalism" (or what passes as such in America as we careen into the 21st. century)...
It could cause one to weep with joy (or relief). Feed him a nice Christmas goose and hope that retirement looms soon. A modest prediction: when he does retire, he'll show up at the Heritage Foundation, espousing a kind of cornpone "populism" that will cause the likes of Roy Blunt or Tim Pawlenty to blush.
If internet gambling was legal in Minnesota, I'd make a fortune.
Yes, the Old Scout is correct again. Who better than a Minnesotan knows, for have we not seen right here in historic Saint Paul the resurrection of that old war criminal Fritz Mondale as some "elder statesman"? There is also the truly ghastly red-baiter, Hubert Humphrey, so frequently touted by the Old Scout.
Yes, dream on Keillor. Believe in miracles, for they surely happen...but you may want to be advised: history judges harshly in the long run. Merry Christmas.
Yes, Kofi...a true original. "Quiet...tolerant...wily" indeed. He is all this and more. And though we may share the same view on that little American misadventure taking place in Iraq (albeit, for different reasons), he is a quiet, tolerant, wily, and murderous old hypocrite. Just take a glance around Africa when you have a moment.
It appears things have gone over your head...yet again. But actually, if you become ambitious and do your own research, you'll find a "Minnesota connection" between the newly retired Secretary General and the Old Scout, as well as some hilarious shared personality traits. But then you already recognize that, don't you, sport? Enjoy your holiday.
Though I have many differences with "The Old Scout", this is priceless. I only suggest "Ye will smell land where there is no land" and hope the hapless White House Resident can understand it.
Oh, lap dog! Good to see you in your proper place!
Meanwhile, the Old Scout does not fail. He extolls the virtues of our very own cornpone Evita. Now I can look forward to at least four more years of Cheney's minions running the country into the ground and setting fire to various other nations.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
