I understand your situation better, and it may be that you're making the right choice then. If it is difficult for you to handle all the practical aspects of a heterosexual relationship, and if you feel just fine the way you are, then it's OK. You remind me of that thread about whether or not it was a good idea for men (and presumably also for women) of genius never to marry. I think so, since I do agree that not everybody is made for married life. (But is it really true that the men you've met wouldn't do for you the things you also did for them -- remember your family's birthdays, pick up your socks, act as your sounding board when life gets rough, etc. -- or even share these tasks for mutual benefits? I mean, I try to do this for my wife, and I think I've been quite successful -- though I should probably ask her opinion before claiming that, to make sure I'm not unduly embellishing myself. Our other interests have suffered somewhat; but all in all, we've still been able to pursue them.)

As for Asperger's, I'm still fighting the diagnosis. I don't buy it. I don't feel that intrinsically different from other people, especially since my social skills are now much better than they used to be (not perfect, but then again who is perfect?). Not every geeky little boy belongs in the autism spectrum. Some just have psycho-emotional problems.

I agree with you that Levine overgeneralized, especifically because I think I am an exception. I had everything to grow into the kind of introverted boy who simply won't give real girls a chance, I even did exactly that with the first one who felt interested in me, and yet I'm not like that anymore. I've grown past it; I've found a solution for the problem. So no biological determinism here for me.

My take is again that guys like Levine -- and like what I might have become -- have developed a kind of addiction. Your expression -- "emotional anorexia" -- is not bad; I actually quite like it (though anorectics don't refrain from eating because real food is not as tasty as in the ads or in the media, it's more a self-image problem). It is not considered a problem? Well, I suppose if a man is really satisfied with his little addiction to his imaginary world, nobody can force him out of it. But I rather suspect he is not; most of these men would be better off, they would eventually like to get out of that rut, to understand that normal women are OK and can be wonderful companions, and that their dream belles are just that -- dreams. (Of course, men who simply do not want to lead a married life -- perhaps because, like you, they don't have the energy for some of its practical aspects -- are a different story. But they're not the ones in Levine's situation, I think.)

As your kid develops through puberty, it would be best to develop his understanding of, and appreciation for, other people's feelings. It looks like he's doing well on this department already. As long as we can appreciate other people's feelings, we do have some way of seeing beneath the surface, of wanting more than mere hot looks.

Calm down! I have never met a woman who didn't lie either -- from small things like her age to big things like whether or not they were screwing someone else (not all by the same woman, I admit). Frankly, it's not men, it's people. What you have to do is understand them. It takes quite a while to get to a point in a relationship in which there really is no lie. Even when the relationship is only with yourself.

What's missing could be something about the girl herself -- say, she doesn't like Americans very much. Or then he told her that his grandparents were from her country, or from some other country she likes, so that there'd be a relation to him. (I think Sweden is a bad guess because pretty much everybody there speaks English, and the LW sayd his girl doesn't. Maybe Germany, or Southern Europe. Or Latin America. Or Asia...).

I frankly think the lie is really harmless, and probably didn't even do much in terms of getting him some sex. I'd compare it to women lying about their age.