Anonymous_Too, you said: "There are children growing up in this toxic cloud. What do you tell them? That if you want beauty, the best place to look is the sky, time of day not important? How does this stick in the juvenile mind, exactly? Especially if you can't get it to stick in the adult mind?".

The problem is not getting this into their mind; it's opening them up. The best place to look for beauty is in real people. Tell them to listen to their stories, to admire their little triumphs, to feel for their little tragedies.

The men who get bored with real women because of the images of beauty they see around them are escaping into fantasy land. They're not so different from those who are fascinated by videogames, or sports events, or their own work. They're shutting themselves somewhere, because they've decided they're not going to get something. They take the 'beautiful women' from the media and develop a kind of addicted behavior, like someone who's becoming dependent on drugs and stops eating real food. What they need is realize what's happening (like Levine apparently did), even if it takes someone else to tell them. They need to think of where it will take them, and if that's the place where they want to be. They need to think of their other human needs, not simply their masturbatory ones, and decide what the heck they're going to do to meet these needs. I can't force them out of their cages; but I'll be damned if I think they'll really be happier there than outside. I thought so at some point, but then I learned better.

And -- please don't interpret me wrong, Anonymous_Too -- perhaps you're also a bit locked in your internal world too. When you described your life, the difficulty a man would have to meet and date you, your impression that a woman does better alone, I seemed to recognize some of my own old behaviors and rationalizations ('as long as I stay here, nobody can hurt me', etc.). It seemed to me -- I may be wrong -- that you're a bit afraid of men's sexual drives. Now, if you feel well where you are, that's fine, too. You don't have to go seeking for other people, men or not, if you don't want; and having had bad experiences -- having seen your son also have bad experiences with a bad stepfather -- is not a stupid reason to avoid others. Believe me, I can sympathize. But it's like all kinds of fear: you certainly do avoid the Big Bad Wolves (which is good), but you also avoid the good people who might possibly be Prince Charmings. And all the ones in-between, who might become something interesting and non-stereotyped. I think they're all out there, because I've seen many of them. And I wonder if, with your fear, you're not leaving some of your human needs unsatisfied. I, at least, was. But again, it's up to you to decide; whatever you do, I sincerely wish you happiness.

I've seen some pretty screwed-up women who looked as immersed in fantasyland and pushed people away from them as strongly as I used to. And, even though there probably is a stastical difference between male and female sex drives, there's a lot of variation -- I've definitely met women who had sex drives apparently stronger than mine. Some women do have problems entering into relationships that involve "mutual respect and trust", with or without sex -- because they have all kinds of issues, including also unrealistic expectations about the opposite sex, that can leave them insensitive to outsiders, including well-meaning men. All I can say is: know yourself. Try to find out if you have unfulfilled needs, and if so, think about what you want to do about them.

What about the children who are "growing up in this toxic cloud"? Well, I for one would talk to them about other people. I'd let them read the same works of literature that made me identify with all kinds of characters, and made me see the internal beauty of other people. I'd try to make them aware of his own needs for companionship, for human warmth, for understanding from other people. These are the antidotes for the House of Mirrors, for the House of Pin-up Girls that some men (and women) might be trapped in.

Hm, my longest post, divided into four parts. God(dess) knows what people will think. Anonymous_Too, I hope this helps somehow.