I'm another Democrat. I put in a vote for not tearing out each others' hearts. Unless a Democrat-type decides to start a third party and splits us and winds up threatening to elect a Republican, I vote we keep it civil. We're on the same side, yes? We need to win in November. More even than that, perhaps, we need to work together. We've got a big mess to clean up, but that's just the start. We need to get the whole show back on track, as in, Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?

Best,

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Good.

I think of the psychological process of the neo-cons you're describing, as well as all compulsive evil-see-ers, as the kind of projection where they hate themselves and therefore see an evil enemy out there trying to kill us all.

Not that there aren't plenty of other crazy conclusions we jump to in our self-hate.

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I'm so sorry. The lying is an extremely bad sign. Please understand that even the caring attentive easy sweet rapport was the drug talking. Or at least the addictiveness talking. The first part of Cary's response and so many of the posts confirm that your sweetie is playing serious hard ball. It is an exponentially more grave matter than you can imagine. Oh boy, is he not the man you thought he was.

I'm an alcoholic who's been in recovery a good while. I've also been a counselor in a treatment center. Having family and friends who are addicted and having grown up repeating dysfunctional patterns myself, I go to suitable meetings to further my unentanglement. I'm not much for advice but will, as they say, share my experience, strength and hope: Most of the other posts sound right. 10 months? Leave. I would add that, especially if there's alcoholism/addiction in other family or friends, you may well not be aware of the draw you feel for - pardon me - lying addicted scum-bags like me. Check out Al-Anon to de-fuse yourself from other similar guys.

Best. Yes, it's difficult. As they say, It gets better. Boy, is it a lot better.

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A codependent’s main intuitive talent is, when in the presence of delight, to recognize it enough to quickly squash it. See, codependents can’t tell inspiration from intoxication, bliss from buzz. They consider what looks like even a non-chemical buzz to be dangerous. (Where could she have learned that? And I would vote for Bill again too.)

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Good article.

Question: I heard John Edwards say he'd add an optional government health insurance plan (Medicare for everyone?) and people could choose that or for-profit plans. That is, give the sons-of-bitches some of their own vaunted competition. Is this part of Barak and Hillary's plans?

Also: It must be made illegal for insurers to consider pre-existing medical conditions in accepting any applicant. Spread the risk. Commercial insurance is about gambling and odds and playing us, and the house always wins. The citizens just want health care.

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It took me a while to learn to be just another person in the room. I didn't have to prove I was special because I was already special, as was everybody in the room. I also learned there was something to be said for everybody spontaneously speaking roughly the same amount. I had to clock myself to learn this.

I still can occasionally, out of the blue, be an asshole. Just blurt out some crazy shit. When I'm stressed. But there's lots of time when I'm stressed now I don't have to be an asshole.

It's not just when I'm with people. The old mind can just start running, talking trash, going in circles repeating things. Nothing new. No inspiriation. I know inspiration, how it can pop into a quiet mind. Though sometimes when the flood gates open all kinds of great things pour out. But then I can think that it's because the flood gates are open. Uhn-uhn.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've learned something about letting go. When the old mind gets going I say to myself, "Let go." Quietly. It's a practice. I have to practice it, like learning a new lick. Because maybe the next minute the mind'll get going again and I'll have to say "Let go" again. Patiently. Repeat as necessary. Quiet myself down. They say about horses that sometimes you have to gentle them. Sometimes I have to gentle myself.

At a session I was at at a conference someone asked the couples therapist who was presenting, "What do you do when one of them talks too much and the other is too quiet?" She answered, "The talkative one needs to talk less."

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