but on the whole I just think people, men and women, don't get preventative treatment because it costs so much even if you are insured and if you're not, just forget it. I mean getting a colonoscopy, a mammography, an MRI, all that stuff which is essential at a certain age is pretty spendy. It seems to me that contemplating the results of these tests being positive puts quite a few people off. That being said, I work for doctors and having a chronic condition of my own I always have a regular doctor. Maybe they just hate my guts (understandable) which I'm beginning to suspect is the case but it seems that neither men nor women doctors listen to a word I say. Just get in get out. I have to add this. My aunt who had been a single parent, age 60, living on her own, developed breast cancer, never told anyone, never got treatment, keptagoing to work and then one day called in sick and when her sisters took her to the hospital, she died. She struggled financially all of her life. There was no doubt that she knew she had the cancer as the tumor was huge. I just don't think she was up for the fight and I'm sure this kind of thing happens a lot to men and women. Sorry.

as a single working class mother who makes very little money, I would hate for every essay I ever read to be only within the scope of my own everyday experiences. However, Salon should include some essays from regular people who have satisfying lives despite being somewhat limited in their options. It seems the last two essays from Salon were about people with gobs of money but couldn't have children then did have children, had a satisfying career, but still weren't content. That's a little dull.

My opinion of this particular essay is that if the author is bored or dissatisfied with her kids at home, taking them on the road won't improve things. It seems to be instilled in people today that we can always *improve* our situation now matter how dire (fenced-in yard, missing your mother). How about taking the point of view that a situation can be changed from within, with attitude rather than changing the scenery? How bout realizing that what you've got is a treasure, especially with little kids.

I enjoyed the preface to your column very much. Although you have never inspired rage in me, I have seen posters who don't feel like they can get their point across without insulting someone. I did that myself once by saying I hated yorkies, but who cares. You're right, you can't think straight if you're filled w/rage, and you seem to be thinking straight. I liked Mr. Blue and was sorry to see him leave, but he didn't publish everyday, and now I have come to look forward to your column just as much. So thanks.

It's not just the illegals that are the problem. What threatens working people and communities are all the jobs that have left the country, all the CEOs making giant salaries for running companies into the ground while legal and illegal workers' salaries stagnate and the working population gets shoved around because they can be. Blaming the illegals is a bait and switch. Blame deregulation and NAFTA that have turned us into a huge corporatocracy. I'm very sorry about what happened to this man and to countless others in this country so that gun manufacturers can continue to make money from the suffering of others. The law in this country has been bought and sold.

Is depressing. It's a chicken or egg question. I know many people who are pack rats. My ex-husband was one. He filled the basement and garage with junk from his infancy to adulthood and rented storage space. We could not throw anything out w/o checking w/him first. He kept his shirts hanging in the closet according to color all facing the same direction but he had T-shirts from middle school and kept his dirty socks and old sneakers in piles in corners of our room. It was a nightmare and I'm glad it's over. How hard is it to take out the garbage, run the vacuum, mop a floor, fold your clothes, wash your dishes, clean the bathroom sink and tub, make a bed? It's not hard at all. My aunt waits until her house is stinking until she cleans it. There is egg dripping down her cabinets, scum and dust all over every surface. Her son is the same way. How can a person live like that? My mother was a horrible housekeeper too. It was embarrassing to have people over. I thought she was just overwhelmed (she had 6 kids) but my sister and I could clean our house in an hour. I do think it has something to do with your state of mind. Get off your butt and take some control, maybe that will help. BTW, if you do all this stuff, vacuum, etc., at least twice a week, it's not such a big deal. One more thing, I bet if this guy leaves you won't miss him a bit.

no that is not what marriage is supposed to be about. That is what raising children is about.