You gotta love these types of LW's! Men are selfish because they want children, but LW -- of course -- is not selfish for not wanting them. To be honest, there is an age difference between men and women: men can become father at an advanced age. LW doesn't inform us about her past: did she marry when she was young but is now divorced or widowed, does she already have children of her own or not or did she never want them? Maybe she is fortunate in having already achieved what the men she is dating seem to crave. Or maybe she also not so seriously serial-dated her way through her 20/30/40's. And maybe the men never found Ms Right when they were younger. Or maybe they did, but Mrs Right then didn't want children (yet). None of this sounds like selfish behaviour to me.

But if LW is serious in desperately seeking a mate, there surely is an enormous pond to fish from: men who already have children, older men who seriously do not want them (anymore), older men who are happy grandfathers, younger men who seriously do not want children and therefore fear the breeding type, men who would be happy to adopt children, infertile men (vasectomy?) etc.

Accusing all men of your generation of being selfish, however, seems like the best way to never find love.

As with many of these laws, lawmakers quite often forget to think/bother about the practical side. Because it would be so easy to get around this law. If a woman and a man declare that (they think) he is the father, no law could possibly require them to prove this. So all the woman has to do is ask a male friend to do the honours and all ends well. As to being accused of "abortion fraud" when pretending to be the father, how would anybody ever be able to prove that the "father" knew the child wasn´t his (by proving that the never had sex with the mother)?

Fortunately, these kind of zealots are not good at thinking things through (see also: http://www.videosift.com/video/What-should-the-penalty-for-having-an-illegal-abortion-be)

Isn't it a lot simpler: a woman who is unconscious or even semi-conscious is not consenting? The problem with the "no means no" is that it turns the consenting part upside down. It simply is rape if the woman has not said "yes", which -- true -- will usually be said implicitly/indirectly, but mostly should't be hard to understand.

LW doesn't tell us much about her husband's feelings (apart from him being half of "we"). But apparently the husband has a few things to deal with here: "we" are trying to get pregnant, but the husband will not be the biological father and the child will be raised with a religion, while husband is an adamant atheist. Maybe the yarmulke is just a little bit too much to ask from him at the moment (like some readers already mentioned if the husband would want the wife to wear a headscarf in a mosque the reactions might be quite different). Maybe that little piece of clothing shouldn't really matter. Maybe LW can spend an hour in temple with her family but without your husband (he can still take part in the rest of the high holidays celebrations, e.g. dinner). And most of all, maybe LW should sit down and talk with her husband about his pain and feelings.

"...how do I tell him that I'm considering buying a safe so I can keep my financial papers secure? How can I trust someone who could do the things he's saying he did?" You only seem to worry about yourself, but isn't the bigger question: how could you possibly love and respect a person who has done these things (apparently, there are other confessions)? How can you love and respect yourself, being with someone capable of such things?

And, indeed, assuring you that he has changed isn't enough. Has he returned the money, did he serve time, did he make amendments for the other bad things he did in his wild days?

Also, please consider that he might be lying (again or still).

What I really don't understand is that you think whatever he has done in the past is not relevant to what's happening now.

Oops, no disrespect, but maybe you shouldn't have asked a man. "If they get augmented ... [t]hey still feel the same." I don't think so. There will be strange tissue in there without nerves in it. Also, there are risks involved in any kind of surgery. Even if those are small (I myself for instance developed very ugly scar tissue at every surgery I had). And who says guys like big breasts?

Well, a couple of months ago, while I was travelling and in the middle of nowhere, I did read the Da Vinci Code (in German!), because it was the only book available in an accessible language. And I would definitely go for someone who read Dianetics (or listened to the Carpenters) under similar circumstances. Come to think of it: an absolute turn-off for me would be anybody who is so boring and settled that they would turn up their nose at any book or music (or food, fashion, home decoration &c) that is not politically correct. Diversity Rules (or at least it should)!

This is actually rather mild compared to their views re Jews, Muslims, non-whites, homosexuals &c.