That really sums up how bad Cary's advice is on this one. Read "Against Love" by Laura Kipnis, which is not really against love but just points out how soul-deadening the traditional experience of domestic monogamy can be, and suggests that maybe we need to be a little more flexible if we actually want to sustain (and enjoy) the relationships that matter to us most . . .

I'm not interested enough to read the original articles, but to my knowledge steak tartare is not exactly the same as a leafy green salad. That particular example seems to undermine the point.

Just a quick question: why do the kids of Ewan McGregor/Eve Mavrakis and Sharon Stone get described as adopted, and Madonnna's not?

I'm a single mom with two sperm bank babies: I'm a fan of alternative family making. But call it consistently, or don't call it.

As a single (lesbian) mother of two sperm bank babies (boys ages 6 and 3), I agree 100 percent with Meggars. Using an identity release donor from a sperm bank was the option I chose.

The Sperm Bank of Calif. (others, too, probably) also offers "family contact" as an option for families who have used the same donor, so half siblings can meet.

With these possibilities, the issue of kinship doesn't have to be a total lockout or a permanent mystery.

One other point: the issue of the donor seems huge before there is an actual baby (or two) in your life, but once your life is focused on a new child--rather than on who will father a potential child--you will not spend much time thinking about the donor. (Unless he is in fact "involved" in your family's life.) At least that was my experience.

oh for god's sake, healthy skeptic, give it up.

Sheesh, I'm bawling too, when I think of you getting that degree. There's no way I'm pregnant: I think I'm truly moved by your letter in a way that never happens when I read this column.

I am really excited about the rest of your life, even though I don't know you . . .

Stop the videos. Please.

I got the sense that the LW is a nice person who's trying to make everyone happy and bring them together--so she's treating her parents like shit because her husband is an asshole.

try this piece by Paul Robinson:

http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/721833.html

"I have developed a set of emotional responses to individual marks of punctuation. Precisely such emotional responses, I believe, are what most writers lack, and their indifference accounts for their errors . . . the semicolon has become so hateful to me that I feel almost morally compromised when I use it."

Bullshit. We do know why. We have been lied to about emergencies before, and taken for a ride, and we are not stupid, and we are sick of it. Here's my letter to my legislators:

Thank you for voting no on the bailout legislation. I am a fiscally conservative Democrat and horrified at the amount of debt the USA is already in, without borrowing another trillion dollars to soften the landing for the Wall Street high fliers.

Those of us who live within our means and whose incomes are based on doing real work for a living are probably going to suffer anyway in the coming years, no matter what happens with the economy--whether it's the experience of a precipitous market meltdown or the reality check over the next decades of living in a nation that is totally bankrupt and thoroughly in hock to foreign creditors. In that light, I'd rather see the market have a HUGE and painful correction than have Congress roll the dice with a trillion borrowed taxpayer dollars that may not even fix a system that is broken. If you really think it's crucial to borrow money to create a better future, spend it on alternative energy sources, health care, infrastructure, education.

I will be dismayed at any vote change in favor of the bailout, but I trust you'll hold firm. Thank you once again for voting no on this bill.

I'm just not sure that the dream of becoming an actor really has to be attained by trying to make a living at acting. I read this letter and immediately thought of a friend of mine who is extremely passionate about both acting and directing. It is his entire life...after he puts in his 35 hours a week as a computer programmer, which is how he makes his living.

I live in a rural coastal area where my friend will never remotely have any remuneration for acting or directing, but his drive is why this small town's "community theater" organization has evolved into a very busy arts center; he is at the center of a weekly play-reading group; he has been instrumental in creating a community college theatre program for high school students, and he is part of a very cool renegade theater group that puts on performances in local bars.

All these things add a huge amount to community life around here. Does the LW want financial success as an actor, or just the fulfillment of doing something he loves and is good at? Because it doesn't seem like LW has to uproot his wife and her business to follow his dream of being an actor.