I have a huge problem with casual sex.

I don't get enough of it.

Or, just as infuriating, I didn’t experience it at all during my 20's when I probably could have found it more easily than I do now.

I think Tracy's article is very interesting in light of social conservatives' attempts to promote the myth that sex outside of marriage is psychologically toxic, period.

But, it’s also interesting to me in the way it can be interesting to watch a party I’m not invited to—-the “on the outside looking in” perspective that each person can relate to relative to something—-at least once in the their life—-be it sex, career, status, culture, race, et cetera.

I'm a guy, mid-30s, urban, middle-class, Midwest- and evangelical Christian-raised, gay, politically progressive, thin, slightly above average in terms of fitness, average in appearance. From my vantage point, I'm more jealous than anything about Tracy's situation. I didn't emerge from a multi-layered mental complex of sublimation and self-deception to realize that I was gay until I was in grad school. (And maybe I was just plain a bit dense, too! Not every failure of self-awareness a person experiences is the result of some psychological condition. There is such a thing as just “not getting it!”) By that time, self-effacement, which is probably putting it mildly, was so deeply entrenched cognitively that I wasn’t and still am not particularly successful at dating or finding sex—-casual or otherwise. (But, but, but gay guys are just so promiscuous, right? All of them. All of the time. Right? Right?)

From my perspective, it’s interesting reading Tracy’s essay and the responses. Tracy, you’ve gotten far more sex at 24 than I had had by your age (none). You’re in a relationship (I’ve not really ever had one of those). You’re self-confident, which has to have been the result at least in part from upbringing and environment (e.g., broad-based cultural/general support—-though with opposing opinions to be sure—-familial support perhaps; certainly the former no gay American can claim without some serious evidence to the contrary, and the latter is enjoyed by few gay Americans). And you have your whole life ahead of you (I’m a bit older, but way behind you in terms of socialization, self-discovery). I guess I’m just struck how oddly EASY the sexual exploration is for you. It’s enviable.

The phrase "water baptism" is redundant; no such term exists in popular or theological discourse.

I suspect Mike Madden meant "full-immersion baptism," in which the person being bapized is fully immersed in water (as opposed to the person having water sprinkled on them). Though not synonymous with "full-immersion," I suspect that the phrase "believers' baptism" probably could have applied as well, since I strongly suspect New Life does not practice the baptism of infants.

Additionally, it would have been more accurate to write that the prayer session was going to double for a "service of baptisms for new members" (instead of "a water baptism for new members") so as not to imply that all members were being baptized, in one way or another (but by definition with water), en masse.

Okay, with the subject line I'm trying to match Kate Harding's tongue-in-cheek tone to some degree, but I want to applaud her for her at least parenthetical statement alluding to a fact that the percentage of gay adolescents--and adult men--reporting that their negative opinions about their body &/or facial features affects their ability to socialize or function w/o periodic or persistently marked distress is much higher than among straight men. (And body dysmorphia in particular is higher among gay men than straight, too, though body dysmorphia is technically a specific variation of profoundly disliking how one looks, and is related to OCD tendencies). The reasons cited in therapy by clients are nearly always the same, and frankly Alcoholics Anonymous coined a term that--though AA meant it to apply generally--sums the reasons for the extreme angst over self-image pretty well, a kind of the cognitive trap reinforced by cultural images of gorgeous bodies: COMPARE AND DISPAIR.

Far, far more so than with straight men, the gay man is more likely to feel like he looks like a half-chewed gummy bear when he sees a very attractive man, in print or in daily life; the whole process being quite similar to how a straight woman is likely feel upon seeing a very attractive woman.

I give Kate Harding the benefit of the doubt relative to her call for more images of men who probably amount to the top 10% of the top 10% of best-looking men, and assume she's (mostly) joking.

The real solution is simple, and it's not images of more very exceptionally attractive men: ads should show more basically attractive people with fit, healthy physiques. I guess, very unscientifically, that this is probably no less than 5% of the general population under the age of 60, and might be higher in countries w/o such an obesity problem like we have in the US (and increasingly in the UK and some other Western European countries).

Magazines and ad campaigns that include models who impress--perhaps even can inspire--but that aren't 100% populated with physical "A-list" gods and goddesses would be healthier for EVERYONE involved.