The LW clearly states (okay, I don't mean to be unkind but, ADMITS) that they had sexual problems some time ago that she didn't address because she didn't feel it was that big a deal. Well, apparently it was not to her, and was to him.

That is not some "sin" she committed. Unfortunately, it was a mistake. There are two people in a relationship. Sexual intimacy is a huge part of a relationship for many people; for others, it is a "detail." Same thing with enjoying football, visiting relatives, or not, on holidays, or whether or not to have children.

What LW is not looking at, IMHO, is the relationship from her partner's point of view. Sure, she can choose not to do that but if she keeps approaching future relationships this way she could well end up alone again.

This is not a "punishment" or evil gods (what the heck, Carey?!) toying with her life. This is a consequence of her thinking everything was okay because it was okay with HER. She has admitted "body issue problems" (the one I have is, I am overweight; I wasn't, most of my life; now I am. I hope I can get back down). Sad but true, physical "spark" and attractiveness REMAINS a factor for many people. It may not feel fair ("I was there for you when you were sick! I put up with your mother!") but it's true. Just as we may love someone, but we may still want them to brush their teeth, clean up their dirty dishes or otherwise be considerate of us -- same goes for the person in the other half of the relationship. She didn't need (or care about) sex that much; well for some people sex is vitally important and not just because that person is a horndog but because sexual connection deepens intimacy, provides validation, is a release from tension and stress -- et cetera. Whatever his reasons, LW's partner wanted and needed it and she did not provide it, which is not a sin, but it was an error of caring and compassion for HIM on HER part.

It sounds like, rather than being punished by "the Gods," the LW has learned a very hard lesson. If you have a great guy, it's one thing if he leaves you because you become ill (inexcusable!!) or even go through a hard time; but to lose sexual attraction, especially when she herself has admitted largely contributing to the problem -- yes, it is agonizing to be told that. But as she admits, she had a chance to address it and did not.

Carey says he will not offer "hope." Well, I think he should. The other thing I have found is, once a relationship is "over," many times the parties realize what was so wonderful about the other person, miss that person and WANT to try again. The man who "lost that lovin' feelin'" for the LW MAY find that he misses her after all. He may miss all the other wonderful things about their relationship which LW acknowledges. If he does, it would be a really good idea for LW to, in the meantime, pay a little more attention (I'm not saying obsess about it) to her appearance and health (not weight per se, but being in shape is a good idea for all of us); and to take his need for sexual intimacy seriously and address it as she'd want her own wants and needs to be addressed.

And if it's not this guy, that is sad, as Carey acknowledges. But LW is in therapy, she lives in a community where she is known and presumably appreciated at least by many people (I'm sure) whom she knows, and love can come out of nowhere, any time. The very hard, painful lesson here, I believe, is that when it does, cherish it, and if you mess it up, don't blame vengeful "gods" or the other person -- and don't blame yourself either; but learn, live and love on so that when love comes again, you are actively engaged in a relationship with another person, and don't feel they (or it - the interaction) are something that is just "happening" to you. When you got a good man, let him stay right by your side, as the old song goes.