I've worked for a large company where a lot of people work late behind closed doors. I always knock before entering and assume they could be doing anything -- I've even noticed (back in the 80s) white powder on their desks (!!) Of course I said nothing and that was it.

Once (!!), thinking the person had left (his office was empty earlier) I did walk in, only to find he was changing from going to the gym(!!) Thank goodness he was wearing shorts!!!! I was the one who committed the error and believe me, I quickly apologized, and (also important) acted cheerful and normal every time I saw the person again. The "M" is a human activity that almost everyone needs, and does, for occasional release, including (as others have said) probably the "intruder." And she (the intruder) may well be as much or more embarrassed at having committed the faux pas of walking in!! She may be eager herself to clear the air and move past it all.

So I don't agree, personally, with Cary on this one, that LW should not bring it up with her. If she's terrified of doing so, she doesn't have to I guess; but breaking the ice and being open (as I learned on my own, uh, self-improvement group path) is actually a great relief and almost never the horrible experience it feels as if it will be. She could say something like, "Oh, right, like when you walked in on me last week -- I sure should have locked the door THAT day!!" and give the lady a chance to laugh too, and move on -- maybe even to a better friendship. (If it turns out she didn't see anything and doesn't get it, so much the better!! Laugh, change the subject and move on -- keep 'em guessing). I do understand her "Mom friend" (or acquaintance) is conservative as is the town but listen, sometimes those "conservative" types are the most wild!! And if not, too bad, at least she's acknowledged it and set the clear boundary that she won't back down -- and that intruding, not self-pleasuring in one's own space (even a "business" space), is the true social error.

I don't think it's a fake letter but whatever, the situation has certainly happened to people. To me, opening up the subject with the "intruder," while at the same time gently setting the boundary that the intruder was the one out of line, is more therapeutic than huddling in shame and talking it to death with the husband, who I'm sure is turned on by the submission stuff (many guys are) but won't want to talk about how horrible she feels about it forever (who could blame the guy). Okay, that's it but mainly -- IMHO, openness heals a lot more than secrets. At least, that's the way I (try to) roll :-)

She's into the other guy.

If I wanted to be pithy (and unsympathetic) I'd leave it at that. But you can let yourself be found by love between you and someone who appreciates you. Trust me on this -- there's a difference, and it feels better. Good luck. PS The other guy is married, so she can use some work on her choices too but sadly she does not want your help. She seems to want something from you -- security? Reassurance? But Dude -- she's using you. Period. The faster you move on, the faster you will heal and be able to find something more rewarding; unless you enjoy being rejected (always a possibility I guess, but I hope not).

Before her "Senate run," Hillary Clinton had held NO elected office or anything of the kind whatsoever!!!! I'm so tired of people talking about her "experience." Her type of "experience" was of exactly the same (granted, somewhat tangential) quality of Ms. Kennedy's, and in many ways less relevant to the task. "Winning" an election is one thing, being an effective public servant quite another. Ms. Kennedy is gracious, self-possessed, intelligent and in general highly qualified to make important decisions and suggestions about how our government should (and should not be) acting. Furthermore, Ms. Kennedy's awareness and insight, having (like Sen. Clinton) physically occupied the White House (albeit at a younger age!) and in addition, being immersed throughout her entire life (not just one Presidential administration) in the incalculable legacy of her extended family have given her plenty of insight into "how things run," or don't.

Hillary Clinton, while also a lawyer and yes, having engaged in work for good causes (and not-so-good ones), reminds me of people who say, "We" are playing at such-and-such club, when she's never hauled an amplifier, strung a guitar or written a song, much less learned to play an instrument (but acts as if she's part of the band because she's sleeping with, or friends with, someone in the band). "For better or worse," Sen. Clinton chose many years ago to be the wife of a politician, not a politician herself. Then ...

People elected her Senator because Bill cheated on her. Period. I wish the same respect and national adoration that has been heaped on Sen. Clinton, for very little reason IMHO, would be given to Barbara Boxer, Maxine Waters, the late great Ann Richards, Gov. Sibelius and others who are REAL politicians who happen to be female -- not WIVES of politicians who've decided, "I can do that because the person I slept with did it and I'm just as smart as he is!" Okay, fine, but that certainly does not make Sen. Clinton any more qualified than the exquisitely intelligent, socially conscious, and self-aware Caroline Kennedy.