"You can't have much sympathy for someone who is bringing problems on him/her/itself because of the way they choose to dress and present themselves. In a lot of countries they would be arrested. Fortunately the US is fairly sympathetic to these unfortunate mixed-up people, but there is a limit."

Amen, brother. I was walking past a high school yesterday and I saw all these boys wearing earrings and necklaces. They had product in their hair and many had those girly highlights. In other words, they were light in the loafers and I don't give a good God-damn if half of them played football. Naturally, I had to do what any God-fearing, flag-waving bigot would do. I had to go down to the bar and form a posse so that we could jump those girly boys in the appropriate 3-1 ratio that all bigots employ.

"Please, they begged," as we bashed them with baseball bats. "Why are you doing this?"

"There is a limit to gender non-conformity in this country!" I said.

"Have some sympathy," said another, but it sounded like, "Hab sum simpudy," since I'd just busted his teeth.

"You brought this on yourself because of the way you choose to dress and present yourself," I said, and I swung again.

Ker-ack!

Next time, Amerigo, join the party! 'kay?

I think androgynous women are hot. Pamela Anderson looks like a drag queen to me and she is, for she's dragging gender into the absurd. She's so femme that she makes Marilyn Monroe look butch. Then there are the wives of those tv preacherrs and they're so draggy that they must shriek at their reflection when they come out of the shower, for in contrast, their real selves must seem so, so frumpy.

When I'm with women who'd made love to their mirrors, I wonder how much of their brains withered while they primped.

And ultra-masculine men, with the cock-walking, look like parodies of manhood, rather than the real deal.

"Are we all going to have to grow our hair to our ankles and wear pink frilly dresses and dangly earrings in order to not get in trouble with the gender police?"

Since men now wear dangly earrings too, our earrings must drag on the ground. And since Prince wore ruffles and men wore ruffles for centuries, our dresses must have so many ruffles that even getting into a bathroom requires a good running start.

Ms. Harris.

I'm glad, Pumpkin. Really. I actually get paid to make people laugh. That's my main job. Hey, Salon should pay me, since I'm a pro and you're laughing! Pay up, Salon!!!

I just reread your essay and liked it even more the second time.

As a fellow writer, I kept thinking, as I was reading, "Damn, I wish I'd thought of that."

For one thing, I'm green. Not green as in peach-fuzzy fresh, but literally green. And I have some terminals jutting out of my neck, a Jim Carryish/Dumb and Dumber 'do, strangely stiff joints, and an odd fear of fire. Yeah, I'm a real monster.

Honestly, I'm too old for you. And too busy to satisfy any fella. The more success I enjoy, the less living I enjoy. Alas, I'm a pathetic lass.

But it's fun to joust with you at Salon!

"Why are so many feminists such whiny losers?"

Say, P.J., just how do you woo womenfolks with your 'tude?

This made me squirm: "(Yes, as Tucker Carlson has described, homosexuals of either gender can violate tat sense of safety, but ...)"

Whatever straight folks might assert, straight folks imperil gay folks and I read your sentence as if the contrary were true.

We never read this headline, "Gay guys attack, rape, and maim a straight man."

Brightstar, wag away!

Thanks for clarifying. I was stupid to assume anything less than the best from you.

I just tried to find it on YouTube and I couldn't, but BOR comes out of his house without the exoskeleton of his suit and his studio. It's not just that you can see his spidery legs and his beachbally middle, but you can see that he's gooey without the exoskeleton. When I was a kid and I stepped on a spider, I was always shocked that the yellow goo that flowed out could power such a creepy beastie. So, now whenever I hear about BOR, I remember that video and his spidery legs and his beachbally middle and how soft he was, out in the open, out in the natural light.

'member this, Anonymouse 7:22?:

"tomorrow night, after tonights show, ive decided to have some strippers over to edens 2c. all are welcome.. however there will be no nudity. i plan on killing the bitches as soon as the walk in and proceeding to cut their skin off while cumming in my duke issue spandex.. all in besides arch and tack please respond"

Such pretty, pretty victims.

You go, Darlin'!

ZoeBrain and you are wicked cool writers and women. I enjoy Ms. Stryker's razor wit too.

...and post anonymously. I wonder how many do this.

I once wrote a column that perturbed many, many people and was dismayed to see so many anonies. Now, I expect that they were regular readers who lacked the backbone to stand behind their words.

Yours,

Anonymous (Oooh, even kidding, it feels like cowardice.)