Ms. Traister wrote well, but didn't convince me. I wonder if Ms. Traister's unease is Ms. Rowling doing the equivalent of painting beyond the frame, which doesn't blur the line between make-believe and reality, as an artist might intend, but rather reminds us that what's in the frame is make-believe. For example, if one were to paint a woman in a field that was contained in a frame, those borders facilitate our projecting into the frame, but if an artist were to paint a woman in a field stepping out into our world, by way of the frame, we would only see the gimmick.

Likewise with Ms. Rowling pulls back the curtain with her terrier teeth and shows us that her Wizard is powered by a woman on a stage wondering aloud, it is harder to pretend that Harry and company are real.

If I marry a man who treats me badly, then I made a mistake.

If I've married two men who treat me badly, then I'm the mistake.

Likewise, if I date man after man who treats me badly, my chore isn't to date more men: it's to fix my faulty man-o-meter.

Alas, my Mom has a husband (her second). If she's to travel, which is problematic, as it traumatizes her mini-man, she prepares casseroles with instructions. She labels them too, so he'll know what to eat on Tuesday afternoon.

Now, some man might cackle and assert, "He's got a good deal. Heh-heh-heh."

And he does, in a way.

He just had to pay with his dignity. All of it. He had to pony up his self-determination too, for she chooses what the choo-choo carries into his tum-tum. And he has to shuck and chuck spontaneity.

I don't know how she sleeps with that leech.

I can only gain a purchase in coitus and generate that sexy psychological friction with a peer and a pal. If one has to feed someone, that's neither a peer or a pal. That's a caretake-e.

Likewise, a woman who can't execute basic house repairs, who can't do a bit of plumbing and a tad of wiring and maybe even a slice of carpentry, but rather has to always and forever beseech a person who happens to have a penis, well, that's also unsexy. Now, I know that some people are intimidated by competence and treasure their I-don'-know-nothin'-'bout-birthin'-no-bookcases ineptitude. So, they lean into their fella and their fella leans into their sig-others, but there surely is a divider between pragmatic partnership and mutually pathetic codependence.

No flirting!

Bush is the alleged Christian who substituted turning the other cheek for shocking and awe-ing the wrong country, the alleged conservative who doubled our national debt, the alleged compassionate conservative who made rich people richer and poor people poorer, and WWIII-global-war-on-terror guy, who won't even pay for his beloved war or institute a draft so that we'll have enough troops. But Bush is the president because people voted for him and so those people also own the quagmire in Iraq, the monstrous debt, and so on. Of course, they won't pay this debt. Tens of millions of Republicans, young and old, like their dear leader once did, slink from military duty and dance a little jig that the war debt is being transferred to children. But still they voted for him and they are forever marked as not knowing the difference between a Christian who loves his enemies and a vengence-seeker who can't even finger the proper country. When you voted for Bush, you voted for vengence, which might make some sense if you didn't also assert that you're a values voter, an alleged fan of the turn-the-cheek and forgive-your-enemies guy.

Originally, you wrote it right. And I read it wrong. Pity that, for it was funny as you wrote it.

Cyber-cuddlebuds then!*

*When we're not fightin'!

Thanks, but no thanks. After reading this thread, I'm marriage-spooked, forever and ever, until death does part me from this world. And you should be marriage-spooked too! There are rifts as wide as the world between some couples. However, I expect those individuals would divorce and marry again, if they could, and replicate their tragedies, as most folks do.

One Anonymous? I thought there were thousands of you. Well then, you do indeed range. Sometimes, when you post, you're a 70something woman and sometimes you're a curmudgeon and so on.

My beef with other Internet sites is with the verbal violence. Sometimes, this place is violent too. I was once paid to cognitively joust. No lie. My job was verbal combat. And there was a fellow female combatant whom I loathed. Then, one day, away from the battleground, I saw her with her kid. She was masterful...and right then, contrary to my accumulated, dusty assumptions, I liked her.

However, on the Internet, we never get to see someone away from their dusty, crusty cyber-persona. We never get to see them swing a hammer well or be kind to a waitress or do anything that might mitigate our crushing assumptions about that someone. And that's one of the limits of the Internet.

You make me laugh. How can anyone see any of your alleged sides when you're yet one more anonymouse? I'm ready to believe you and happy to be surprised by your range, but first, hang a shingle under your posts so that I can differentiate you from the anonyhorde.

I fought AKASmith yesterday. Today, we're cuddle buds.

Try it (cuddle-budding). Seriously. Try being more than one thing, day after day. Brightstar does. No lie. Some days, of course, he's the maniharpy, but other days, he's otherwise and wise.