Letters to the Editor
Anonymous_Too
Published Letters: 147 Editor's Choice: 2
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Theory and practice
[Read the article: I'm secretly addicted to porn]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In theory, I have no problem with porn. Or romance novels, let's be fair. Fantasy has a place in everyone's life, and while mine doesn't run to porn or romance, I do like to curl up on the couch with a cup of hot cocoa and a nice, British murder mystery.
But in practice, I'm a bit with another poster who said that sex with men who are especially fond of porn isn't worth it. Some people seem to forget that porn stars are paid actresses. Paid. Actresses. They're faking it for money. If you take a close look, you can see that a lot of them aren't aroused at all. What they're doing in the video probably isn't going to arouse me, either.
I learned to stop feeling guilty for my body not quite measuring up, so to speak, and now I've have to go through the same process with my brain. No, I don't want to do this stuff. I just don't want to engage in sex on those terms any more than I want to date a man who will drop me in ten years for a younger model. Just as aging is freakin' normal, so is my desire for things like context, connection, affection and spontaneous play in bed.
The usual assumption when a woman fails to live up to male expectations is that it's her fault. She needs to lose weight, wear more make-up, whatever. The same is true in bed, she's supposed to be Good, Game and Giving.
I quit. And it's not that I don't like sex, it's that porn-inspired sex is worse than no sex at all.
I also think that the LW needs to get help or dump his girlfriend. What he's doing to her is cruel.
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Sigh...
[Read the article: Girl crush: Cyd Charisse]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]2. SO PRETTY. Do they even make people that beautiful anymore?
3. If she were working in Hollywood today, they'd tell her to lose fifteen pounds or GTFO. That makes me really sad.
These two statements aren't unrelated. It's impossible to look like her while weighing 15 lbs less.
What an amazing athlete, though! Dancing took a lot of sheer power, as well as grace, and she had it all.
I like the Dancing in the Dark scene better, though. I love that white dress.
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Welcome to post-feminist America
[Read the article: Should we go to the mall -- or get pregnant?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I was so lucky to grow up in the 80s! When I was 17, I was taking the college boards and sorting out my options for college, not eying the boys as potential sperm donors. Then again, I got more encouragement for planning a career than planning my baby shower, and praised more by the adults around me for my grades than my looks. Teachers were happy to see a bright girl back then, and a few took steps to encourage me.
Now? The culture is trying to push women back into their "traditional" roles, but with marriage out of fashion, that leaves them with motherhood. Career women? Ugly, infertile, undesirable losers who spend their nights crying into their pillows because no one loves them. Who wants that? Nope, it's babies, because babies are wonderful, even glamorous, not like careers, which turn you into an evil witch.
Here's the thing. My ability to have babies has proven to be a poor meal ticket. Much as men complain about child support, the reality is that they don't have to pay in full or even at all if they don't want to, if they're willing to make some lifestyle changes or hire a good lawyer. Alimony? No longer exists in my state. Just ask me how I know!
However, the skills I learned as an evil, career-oriented, ugly, loser bitch have proven to be the rock I've leaned on in leaner, harder years. At this point in my life, I'm deeply grateful I was pushed to develop marketable skills over the ability to shake my ass.
These girls aren't significantly different from the teenaged brides who were recently returned to their husbands. Where else do they have to go? Never mind how desirable it's presented as being, is college even available to them? As another poster said, they're not completely stupid. They're not counting on their baby daddies to help them. They're relying on each other, but who else do they have?
Welcome, once again, to post-feminist America! Now can we have feminism back, please, if only to get the teen birthrate down?
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Access is everything
[Read the article: Want the pill? It'll cost ya.]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]oral contraceptives are $9 at wal-mart for a month's supply
I live in a college town, and none of the students have access to Wal-Mart. They physically can't get there. There is one, but it's on the outskirts of an adjoining city, nowhere near campus. This is also true of Kroger, which has $4 generic prescriptions. It's miles away from campus. A car would get them there, but most can't afford one, especially not the undergrads. First year students are forbidden to have cars except under special circumstances.
As far as those who whine about what they pay for that they, personally, don't use, buy an island. That way, you won't ever again have to spend on anything that doesn't benefit you, personally.
A good many of the rest of us have no problem with shared responsibility.