Letters to the Editor
plath30
Published Letters: 3 Editor's Choice: 1
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What's the rumpus?
[Read the article: Coming to a theater near you: Dumb arguments]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Instead of focusing on the word "settling," which was designed to be provocative (and therefore eyeball-reaching), basically, Gottlieb said that what makes for great dating doesn't always translate to a great marriage. Is that actually controversial?! Marriage is, at its heart, about compromise. You have two separate people who have to work together as one team. That's not to say that romance, sex, and shared interests aren't important for many marriages. And not finding someone who doesn't read (or rock climb, or squeeze the toothpaste the same way,etc) could be a deal-killer. But I think in the same way that a lot of people come up with this fantasy "ideal" wedding or job when they are 8 yrs old, we tend to come up with this checklist of attributes that all prospective mates have to match exactly, instead of prioritizing what would matter, say in 10 yrs (or 50). Not to suck the blood out of a marriage, but would Fortune 500 companies ever merge if they were looking for an ideal acquisition that had all upside and no risk? Maybe that's the problem...we've become increasingly risk-adverse as a society. And marriage/committed relationships are risky because they depend on trusting another person. But why is Hepola being so defensive? Not everyone needs to be married with kids. Not everyone needs to be single and without. We are adults that can make our own choices which come with natural consequences. Then again, I'd also argue, why can't our soulmates be someone whose strengths and weaknesses can roughly complement our own, instead of looking for opposite-sex (or same-sex for that matter) clones of ourselves?
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Change the meds...
[Read the article: My husband doesn't want to have sex with me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Having tried 20+ odd meds for bipolar disorder, I can attest that the medications he's on can have a HUGE effect on libido. Some antidepressants have worked fabulously for my mood and personality but make sex or even physical intimacy seem repellent. It's not easy to experiment w/ antidepressants, but if he's amenable, talk to him about trying one with less sexual side effects (under the watchful eye of a good psychiatrist, of course). Generally, there is no perfect med-there's usually a side effect trade-off. For instance, a med that renews libido may make him gain weight or experience insomnia and so on. But it's worth a try....
CT's exercise suggestion is good...a lot of medical studies do indicate that regular exercise increases seretonin. And therapy can take a toll on romance until certain issues are worked out. But until the meds issue is addressed, I wouldn't take it personally. Just don't feel guilty about masturbating while he figures it out.
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Maybe it's time to take a page out of Rove's book....
[Read the article: Waiting for the first Madam President]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The GOP hasn't always dominated all levels of US government. They just got more clever when they realized that they needed to work building at a grassroots level to start filling the pipeline with well-connected, well-funded, electable(?) candidates to fill local through national levels. Instead of bemoaning that "we'll never have a woman president in our lifetime," we need to support more women to achieve in city and state government, as well as to run Fortune 500 companies.
Love her or hate her, HRC has accomplished a tremendous feat...most Americans are willing to take a woman presidential candidate seriously. She's been a pioneer. But like an entrepreneur that's overstayed his/her welcome, maybe there's a different set of skills maintain and grow a company, rather than create it.
I agree with the several posters who note that there are several outstanding women besides HRC, who are considered viable today. This doesn't even account for a not-so-distant- future female Obama, who could seemingly come out of nowhere. But if people are serious about wanting a woman president, the key is to put the groundwork in place now, instead of dredging up Ferraro's token effort, going down with HRC's ship at the expense of the Democratic Party, or waiting to see if another woman decides to run in 25 years.