..in addition to the comfy sofa on the porch and the garden gnones, is the old toilet planter. Great planter! Drains great! And don't forget to get some old tires, paint them white, and use those for planters too..or paint the tires to match your house trim if you really want to go up-town....

De-gentrification....

I have mamograms every year. Within one year, I went from clear to stage three breast cancer - the cancer had gotten into my lymph nodes and into my lungs. And my BRAC test was negative. There is a LOT more to this than genes.

As I went throught the cancer process, people like Ms. Queller made me nuts. I know that masectomy is a very emotional thing for many women, but it wasn't for me. I never called it, even to myself in private, 'cutting off my breasts'. I am more than just a set of glands. I had cancer, I had to get it out before it killed me, and I made the decision to have the surgery, chemo, etc. It was horrible, but doable.

One thing I am certain of, is that breast cancer is more aggressive than it used to be. I also know lots of b.c. survivors and those still fighting it, and it seems to spread more quickly and dangerously than before. I suspect our polluted environment, toxic stress levels, and other factors are involved.

Still, congrats to you Ms. Quiller. I can't think of anything worse than going through the breast cancer gauntlet, and it sounds like you've made an good decision.

This is the best solution. Don't send them to the fundies. My parents caved and sent me to a fundie camp I wanted to go to when I was about 10, because my friends went. I came back thinking that I and my parents were going to hell because we didn't believe what they did. The fundies were very nice, very kind, oh so very sorry that this was going to happen to me and my family! I felt awful. And my parents weren't even athiests! As kids get older they pick up more on this kind of garbage. I wish my parents hadn't sent me to that camp, it took me a long time to get over the scarring. Don't do it to them.

Why are you doing their laundry, etc? Sounds like you may have been a doormat. Now that's a curse! Use this opportunity to ditch this bunch to the curb.

I see your point, I wondered about that too - if women would now be trafficked just to bear babies then 'vanish'. I've read that finding brides in China is also a huge problem since they have been doing sex selective abortion for decades now. Some villages have no girls at all. But I don't think that India, or China, will be able to do women trafficking on the large scale they might eventually want, it would get too much international notice.

I think this will thin down the population quite a bit in the coming decades, and also, as another poster commented, lead to serious political upheaval as young men are unable to get brides, and unable to create their own families. It is a disaster in the making, and if Indians are stupid enough to kill all their baby girls, they deserve it.

Orchids

Wonderful letter. Me too.

...I have heard of many invasions of privacy before, but this one takes the cake. Didn't you know they were going to do this before you started? The key in Cary's answer is, most jobs suck. They really do. This is an age where you find your calling, your happiness, outside of work. I didn't get that for years, I wanted a job where I could be myself, etc. Then I got some good perspective on work when I was travelling in India. Millions of people would do anything to have the kinds of problems you and I do. So find a job you can at least stand, learn some tools to take care of yourself, go to work every day and sell 8 hours of your time, then go home to your real life.

It seems to me we have had way too many letters like this, the overpriviledged whining about their privilege...hwo about something else, Cary?

...awesome quote.

I liked G.K's column...the part about breaking the guys arms who was so into his own feelings, not mentioning the real victim? A lot of life is mourning and then just gettin on with it.

When my marriage ended, I traded my ex my engagement ring, which was 2/3 caret, to him in exchange for his paying off my vehicle. It was a good win win situation. Diamonds are incredibly overpriced, and it would have cost him a fortune to buy another one. Eventually he met someone and had it reset for his new wife. I got my car paid off. Nope, as a previous poster said, not every marriage ends war of the Rose's style.

"Because we can't count on anybody else to help us."

Right. Absolutely right. And very sad.

Mr. Keillor,

If I had the money to work issues out with a therapist for 10 or so years, I would. But I don't. So I am happy to have the SSRIs (which insurance will pay for) so I can enjoy spring. Last year I had cancer, and was stuck in bed during the spring. One of the few good things about that was the opportunity to watch my garden revive itself after winter and explode into bloom. Even though I couldn't be outside much, and the advances the dandelions made, made me nearly crazy, really, there isn't anything better than spring.