I was born in NC, although I've mostly grown up near Washington DC. I still have relatives there, and I tell you, if Obama takes NC it will be by a thin margin. The people I know there, and, sadly, some of them are my relatives, only vote on one issue. Abortion. Never mind how many young people die in a stupid war, or if everyone's out of work and starves to death, just gotta gotta gotta save that fetus. And don't discount racism as still a huge problem. My father tells me when he was a DJ there, which wasn't that long ago, he was threated by the Klan for playing 'black music'. Scary stuff. I think I'll volunteer for Obama a few extra hours this week.

What gives you the right to tell the neice? You don't know this person as well as her parents, the people closest to her. LEAVE IT ALONE, NOSY.

...and at least, at the one I went to, bullying wasn't a big problem. If the sisters, saw, heard, or even thought that someone was bullying, it meant a hard slap or worse. They didn't want for bullying to be reported, they were involved, and watched.

Since teadhers have no authority now, other than antibullying to protect their own asses, I can't see anything getting better.

A friend took me to a hippy-dippy healing seminar about ten or so years ago, and I met Ms. Weed. I wonder how many people who have followed any of her recommendations died. She told one bi-polar person to stop taking her lithium. That kind of advice, along with basic 16th century advice, was what she was all about.

I'm a hospice volunteer. In the course of watching families deal with terminal illness, especially between spouses who have been married a long time, I see some strange things - especially in our parents (I am guessing the LW is somewhere in her late 40s) age group. I've no clue why that is.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if the LW's situation was some sort of werid revenge scenario being played out between her parents.

Not to excuse the mother's behavior, but, no one knows what goes on and why between two people except the two people involved.

Reminds me of a good book that works with this issue, "The Corrections".

Annie

No doubt tell her for all the reasons you described.

..That's what I am doing. I am so ashamed of what Bush has done to this country. And I'm terrified that McCain will win, and we'll get four more years of Bush. So I'm working for the Obama campaign.

...I recall when my grandmother died years ago she had a traditional burial. She was embalmed, put in a heavy metal box, then put in another cement box that was in the ground. It occured to me later, as an adult, like she was being buried almost like someone would want to come along and dig her up later. If this kind of burial is standard, we are going to use up our land, and someday these mummies will need to be dug up to be disposed of. Grose.

..and a good one. It's important to help with Obama's campaign if you want him to win. Look how close the polls are...

I was a mid-level CIA employee in the late 80s-early 90s. The government decided that it was cheaper to cut staff and hire contractors - and more and more work started to be contracted out. I left the government because the interesting work moved to the the private sector. Who stayed? The dregs stayed because of the government's stability. These were the incompetent, the afraid, the idiots. The ones now making the decisions.

Garrison, some people really DO want this blob in the White House! I did some canvassing for Obama in Virginia, and almost all the responses I got were nasty. I think its the news media. I used to watch CNN, but, they are all over Obama with any bad news they can find, harping on tiny tiny things. And they give McCain a free pass. I've no idea why.

Thanks Cary for your insight, and for your letter writers with good suggestions. Although we (and I include myself) get cranky and snarky, we give great advice sometimes....I am going to show this to my mother...

I also wondered about possible substance abuse problems maybe having something to do with the friends changes. When I went through my insane 30s, when I dealt with my alcholism, I was that way - liked lots of people around, was flaky on appointments - possibly because I didn't remember what I had promised. In my case, my old friends saw what was happening and promptly bailed. LW sounds like she's getting fed up with her friend, but, until she decides to walk away, she might want to talk to Mary about the changes she's observing.

So she doesn't know she can vote, and is in "complete submission" to her male relatives, as the original artical says, not Salon's abbreviated version. Good for France in denying her citizenship. Why does she even want it anyway, sounds like she is no more than cattle to her family. It isn't the veil, it's her, and her culture/religon, denial of her own humanity. If governments sanction this sort of cultural oppression, then, how can they make other oppressive behavior illegal, such as female genital mutilation? After all, that could be considered the free choice of the parents for religious reasons.

The root problem is that these Muslims get into Western countries and breed, however. Democratic countries allow the majority to make the rules, and eventually, France, like other nations, will become a Muslim state. I bet within 50 years people like this woman, basically a doormat, will be the norm there.

...and what difference does it make? Their music was fun, and hopeful. Hec it was pretty, and happy.

And it was inevitable.