Thanks Garrison, you made me recall the first time I went to "Third Base" with a handsome young midshipman at the Naval Academy. It was snowing outside, and we were on the sofa inside, I think it was a kind of ballroom, in the main building. It was scary and fun and giggly -

As for the nurse, geez, is she in jail yet? I'm pro euthanasia in some instances, but with her daughter blabbling all over the place, I'd be surprised if she isn't. That said, I hope there is a nurse like that for me when I am ready to go.

I've felt the same way you describe. I did volunteer work for many years - hospice, temple, etc., on and on. One day I was getting ready to go volunteer at my temple and I found myself sitting on the steps, crying, unable to go.

You are suffering from volunteer exhaustion. Read "How to Be Good" for some insight, it is a novel that is funny, and poignant. And remember, there is nothing at all wrong with wanting something for your volunteer work. I did too much stuff for too long because it was a 'good' thing to do. Now, I do things that are good for others - but they are activities that are good for me too. I either feel happy doing them, like a benefit for homeless animals (which I am working on now), or the fun of doing something useful for others with friends, or something else. And I don't let people badger me into doing things I don't want to do jsut because they are good.

Anyway, read How to be Good. It will help.

Orchids

I learned how to make tater salad when I was a college student working in a prep kitchen. Our salad went to a fancy restaurant that liked to serve the humble dish now and then for some reason. Anyway we always added some black walmuts at the very end, and mixed them in well. We also used white pepper, which has a slightly more punchy zing than black pepper.

Absolutely awesome.

And yeah, the torture issue... but you7 can't change the world every day, just give yourself a break now and then for cryin out loud.

Orchids

I realizzed that 30 some years ago when I was a student in parochial school. The nuns and priests told us that US slavery was justified because it 'gave the blacks Christianity' and that Hannukah was the Jewish way of giving their kids presents so they didn't feel left out at Christmas.

(Slaps forehead)

Go and get this degree - it may open doors you have not yet dreamed of, such as helping non-profits, the disadvantaged, etc. You can always 'be a writer'.

And poverty sucks. You don't have to have a big house and lots of cars, you can live reasonably and comfortably and donate your money to good causes.

Orchids

LW, plan some adventures with your wife after she returns. Has she always wanted to learn to ride horses, go rafting, sailing? These adventures do't have to cost a fortune, just plan something pleasureable for the two of you to do. (Something that doesn't involve your dick.)

I used to travel without my husband, and I'd always invite him to join me. He always said no, he would stay at home - he didn't like crowds or planes or whatever. I didn't want to stay at home for the rest of my life so I began to plan adventures on my own. Pretty soon I really didn't miss him, and stopped inviting him to come along, then I really didn't want him to come along, and then the marriage was over.

People marry for companionship - if you want a secure relationship, you need to be a companion.

Orchids.

I haven't seen this yet.

I didn't have sex as a teen because I heard the way boys talked about girls who had sex with them - like they were trash, or garbage. I lived near the Naval Academy and noticed that the boys took 'nice' girls to the balls there, but the ones who weren't 'nice' they only took to sleezy places - these stories got around.

Even when I wanted to have relations I would not because I didn't want to get....a bad reputation.

I was a teen in the 1970s, at a public school. Is reputation an issue any more for girls?

Orchids

...a few years ago when a girls school caught fire, and the girls began to run out? The religious police shoved the girls back in to get their headdresses, and the girls burned to death. This was widely reported at the time and verified by Saudi witnesses. Given this kind of barbarism, this story of abuse seems possible to me.

My grandfather was a mean, horrible man who ruined many lives - my grandmother's, his children, and others. He died in a hospital screaming "I don't want to go". We all figured he was looking at Hell.

....then I got cancer, and the treatment caused me to gain water weight. Then I got that down, but the experimental hormone injections caused me to gain more water weight....even at a healthy diet I'm a size 14.

I'm a brown belt in karate these days, but still a size 14, and I eat healthy. Go figure.

Don't be smug. It's fine to enjoy being a size 6, by all means do so, lord knows all the decent styles are made for that size. But be aware it may not last.

Yes, fat is a lifestyle choice - I am sure every fat woman can hardly wait to get lots of donuts so she can get even fatter and get even more nasty looks and rude comments! (Sarcasm off)

Geez some of you have no compassion whatsoever -

Thanks for the laugh out loud you just gave me...

And for death, geez, we need to chill - we are all gonna do it.