...for a pretty young woman to wax snarky about Botox. I felt the same way in my 20s when face lifts become popular. Sure feels different when *you* start to see those little wee lines, however.

Although I personally like Restyline, it's not toxic, works faster, and is less expensive.

Given the kind of cancer I had, I have an 87% chance of being dead in 10 years. I had already had a life of service (hospice, homeless shelter, much, much more). Cary's advice is great, but frankly I was so sick of the whole cancer thing I wanted just to shove it behind me and move on. Some of us survivors get stuck in the whiny survivor thing and I figure I didn't go through all the work to survive and have that happen.

I decided to study martial arts. There are many things I can't do YET. But I will. And the feeling of my body doing things, kicks, whatever, is wonderful. Last year at this time I could not get up and down the four steps to my house. Now I can nearly touch my knee with my nose. Such a little thing, but it can feel great to be alive.

Like you, I'm still in Cubical World. But I don't take it as seriously like I used to, I do it for my salary and then go home.

Best wishes,

Orchids

PNDB, I get what you are saying about people getting stuck in the past experience. The point is to survive and go on to live - one of the reasons I never kept up with any of the cancer support groups is because so many people seem to get stuck there...

"ninny nanner" is a good insult...

LW - all this encouragement is great, but make sure you can get financial aid *before* you let your dreams soar. Since jobs in those fields are in short supply, you may not be able to get a loan. I've known two art history majors default on student loans, couldn't get a job with the degree. (And frankly, anyone to give a loan for this kind of degree program must be an idiot) If you can't get a loan you can still do it, however - maybe get a full time job and take a class or two at night. You can reach the goal - but it may be more difficult than you think.

.... the next generation or two may die in pollution and filth, unable to breath the air, drink the water, etc....but...hey, at least gay people won't be able to get married, and abortion will be illegal, and isn't that what it's really all about, eh?

LW, I am a recovering alcoholic with 11 years, and treatment plus AA worked for me. I had PTSD, which it sounds like you have as well, from rape. I binge drank like you, then it eventually was every single day. Every day hell. Drinking to get thruogh the day, and drinking to get over the day. Horrible. Please consider getting into a treatment center. What I learned was that alcoholism impacts the entire family, and you can't do this alone.

Best of luck.

I recall in the last election this issue came up, lots of people said there would be an incredible surge of support for Kerry because of the cell phone only group, and it all fizzeled out. What is the difference this time?

...so mamas get maternity leave, so do papas....this is getting ridiculous. The original purpose of maternity leave was to give the mother time to recover from the birth.

Having children is a choice, a personal decision in someone's personal life. When you have a child, you accept certain consuqences, at least I did. I am so tired of all the people whining about this, more leave, come in late, etc. Deal with it.

Cary clearly sees this letter as a joke, and so do I. But a really good one! Thanks for the LOL.

And it was inevitable.

...and what difference does it make? Their music was fun, and hopeful. Hec it was pretty, and happy.

So she doesn't know she can vote, and is in "complete submission" to her male relatives, as the original artical says, not Salon's abbreviated version. Good for France in denying her citizenship. Why does she even want it anyway, sounds like she is no more than cattle to her family. It isn't the veil, it's her, and her culture/religon, denial of her own humanity. If governments sanction this sort of cultural oppression, then, how can they make other oppressive behavior illegal, such as female genital mutilation? After all, that could be considered the free choice of the parents for religious reasons.

The root problem is that these Muslims get into Western countries and breed, however. Democratic countries allow the majority to make the rules, and eventually, France, like other nations, will become a Muslim state. I bet within 50 years people like this woman, basically a doormat, will be the norm there.

I also wondered about possible substance abuse problems maybe having something to do with the friends changes. When I went through my insane 30s, when I dealt with my alcholism, I was that way - liked lots of people around, was flaky on appointments - possibly because I didn't remember what I had promised. In my case, my old friends saw what was happening and promptly bailed. LW sounds like she's getting fed up with her friend, but, until she decides to walk away, she might want to talk to Mary about the changes she's observing.

Thanks Cary for your insight, and for your letter writers with good suggestions. Although we (and I include myself) get cranky and snarky, we give great advice sometimes....I am going to show this to my mother...