There may be significantly more, and more long-standing, psychological consensus around parent-child differentiation than Ms. Clark-Flory allows.

Healthy, age appropriate tasks required by adolescents moving toward adulthood are generally agreed to include differentiation from family of origin, acceptance of autonomy, forming of new chosen social connections, independently creating identity of self, and gaining mastery.

Relating to other adults as a dependent child is not usually considered healthy past age 15 or 16, despite increasing popularity. What appears often to drive continuation of a symbiotic enmeshment that impedes movement to adulthood are fears and needs not just of the (adult) child, but of the parent.

Mommy takes from her son or daughter, without asking, the emotional needs she never seemed to be able to get in her contractual bargain (marriage) with daddy, who always seemed so distant. It’s a less overt bargain than marriage, and similarly avoids, for both parties, the anxiety and growth associated with freely choosing adult relationships.

It’s called displaced anger. She’s angry but she’s learned, without knowing it, that it’s unacceptable for her to express anger to the appropriate targets and causes (mommy and daddy and everyone else who have been covertly controlling her choices), and she just traded in up her most prized possessions - her autonomy, sexual freedom, and ability to create her own identity - for the sake of security, of social approval, and of some made-up fairy tale that she’s never thought about.

Good luck with the post-nuptial depression, infidelity, and quiet desperation.

I’d be interested to see the evidence that Deadheads or hippies in any sense, let alone “strongly”, identify with pirates. If the appeal of pirates represents the romanticizing of thievery, plundering, treachery, and disregard for the well-being of others (I won’t mention alcoholism) - that is, the normalization of antisocial traits - then aren’t we more likely to find pirate soul-mates in our Houses of State, out on the links, in the board rooms, and at the local Chamber meetings ? I could be way off.

Thanks to readers for some needed balance here.

1. This was a highly selected sample with unknown selection bias. It is clearly not generalizable.

2. The subjects carried digital recorders and knew their vocalizations were being recorded.

3. Features of verbal communication like number of words used or literal meaning of those words are a small fraction of what comprises the behavior of communicating.

4. Lack of statistical significance is a function of sample size and often results from limited sample size. The larger the sample size, the more likely true differences will be detected.

In short, we are a safe distance from this particular stereotype expiring. But we appear to have some confirmation for another – science tends to elicit our phobias and insecurities around biological differences between men and women, with associated media frenzy.

Boy that’s a relief !

Just proves what we knew all along – that women don’t really talk more than men. Cuz if they actually did ? That would pretty much show that women are airheads, blabbing all the time about nothing. Cuz if you’re talking all the time, that means that . . . um. . . . well . . . whatever.

Women are NOT different biologically from men. At least not in their intellectual orientation or predispositions. That’s how we know and prove that neither gender is inferior or should be granted less respect, dignity, opportunity, and autonomy.

Thank God for science.

Has anyone noticed lately that certain electronic forms of communication seem to be replacing verbal communication? Forms that wouldn’t be picked up by a digital recorder and are especially popular with young adults? I believe the young people refer to these new non-vocal forms as “texting” and “messaging”.

And has anyone who has been in a college classroom lately, or around these young people, noticed who seems to use these non-verbal ways to talk more, males or females?

Just wondering.

At least one recent study seems to point in the direction of young females using texting (which would not be picked up on a recorder) more than young males to “talk” to social contacts:

Kim, Joohan. and Jin, Borae. "In a Different Voice (and Text): Gender Differences in Communication Motives and Uses of Mobile Phone" Paper presented at the annual meeting of the International Communication Association, Sheraton New York, New York City, NY Online . 2007-07-08

Publication Type: Conference Paper/Unpublished Manuscript

Abstract: Cell phone (or, mobile phone) provides two interpersonal channels: voice call and text messaging. This study examines gender differences in interpersonal motives and uses of mobile phone. The six interpersonal motives (inclusion, affection, control, pleasure, escape, and relaxation) were measured in the contexts of using voice call and text messaging, respectively. The results suggest that people prefer text messaging to voice call to satisfy their interpersonal needs. As for gender differences, (a) women have higher level of interpersonal motivation than men in using two channels, (b) women use text messaging more frequently than men, and (c) men use voice call slightly more than women. The implications of these results were discussed in terms of women’s uses of media technology. We concluded that interpersonal media such as mobile voice call and text messaging were efficient tools for maintaining interpersonal relationships and fulfilling communication motives, especially for women.

More Cintra, please.

Rebecca is in top form here, beginning with her keen observation of Ms. Roiphe’s anxiety. “Internal contradictions”, or a dis-integrated psyche, do not lend themselves to peace of mind. Nor does abdication of self-determination and self-respect, whatever the rewards.

are notoriously unreliable, and thanks to Tracy for helping readers understand one of many factors that belies what the MSM often swallows whole when scientific research appears to validate what we need to believe.

Mate attraction and competition are fascinating subjects, two of many engagingly addressed in neurophysiologist Louann Brizendine’s work, The Female Brain.

And why is there a child, a smirking, wise-cracking little boy, on CNN pretending to be a journalist? Are these programs something David Lynch has done for television?