"and that is that a lot of girls and women have a tremendous fear of being seen as the "mean" or "heartless" one who ends the relationship."

Actually, has it not been proven out that men are reluctant to end relationships for that reason or others? Most divorces are initiated by the woman. At least anecdotally, I would say that men are often loath to consider breaking up with people. This is of course bad, irrespective of gender, this wastes people's time and leads to cheating or passive aggressive 'abuse.'

I don't say this to be argumentative, but I just doubt your premise is based on anything other than reflexivity. I suppose I ought look up the data, but I would say women are far more likely to do any 'official' breaking up....

hee hee... but the whole discussion could be justified on this great phrase alone.

"Republicans hate it when the powerful are stopped from doing whatever they want because of some judicial ruling based on the danged old constitution.

Republicans believe in high justice that should be reserved for those who can afford it."

Jesus! You really are a bumper sticker liberal aren't you. I am about as left as one can be, generally, but this sort of polemical incitement really does nothing. It certainly doesn't do any good here on salon. Might as well wear the band's t-shirt to the concert and yell the band's name between songs.

I am a litttle troubled by the reflexive nature of some of the posters here. They cry 'dtmfa' and assert that 'women' as a group need to stand up for themselves. Really, this is a young man in a bad economy. To insist she must dump him, one plays into the stereotype of women needing a man partly for his money. At its core, I think these people are behaving partly in an anti-feminist fashion whilst asserting feminist intent.

It is very hard to get a job now. If there are reasons to break it off, and there may be, it is not, and should not be based on employment status in these times.

Perhaps I am a bit defensive of the lad; a few years back I was summarily dismissed by a significant other who stated they felt I was being lazy and just sitting in front of the computer all day at home. You know what I was doing? Graduate school work for an engineering degree. The suppostion was all the more absurd inasmuch as the individual was a few short years clear of med school. If it was an excuse, it was a pretty stupid one.

But, as I said, there may be other reasons here. The fellow is rather young and such leaps of faith (that he will advance) can be hard to manage. But I would say, if anything, women ought be MORE accepting of this. Were the genders reversed no one would bat an eye that the younger woman was having trouble being employed.

In my experience, in a life time around men is that it is the seemingly 'normal' men that are are more likely to have underage fetishes, rape fetishes or engage in sexual harassment. As far as D&D or engineering geeks, to use stereotype, I have not seen or heard of such behaviors happening (and certainly not being rampant), whereas harassment among so-called alpha male banker types is rife. A friend who was sexually assaulted had her handsome mainstream and successful boyfriend subsequently become obsessed with rape imagery and tried to get her involved in such role play within months of her assault. As far as our geekier friends, this is a grotesque stereotype really.... but who does not masturbate occasionally (or often)?

Plus, if my recollection of D&D is at all accurate, I am certain a vet of age 50 would have progressed to Advanced D&D :)

Allo - Your cynicism is well documented, as well as your predilection for stoned-teens-in-the-woods rumination embedded in declaratives .... so surely you are saying that a 'happy marriage' is impossible or nearly so? Is it then the case that a 'happy singledom' is impossible? What about 'happy childlessness'? Of them all, the last, noting previous citations by you to 'hard-wired' or genetically driven behaviour, seems the most far-fetched.

I do hear people say 'some splainin to do' all the time irrespective of race especially among southerners. Watching the hearing, the racial matter did not even occur to me. I am younger than Coburn, though. All I can say is reflexive: on this one point, I think it would be an embarrassment to make too much of it. Of course, given the tenor of some of these sessions and some of the folks involved, in general, I can see why it would pop out.

Green - you are not being very constructive either! He incidentally brings up, while trying to provoke, a point that the term 'feticide' is used by so-called pro-life advocates to slander abortion.

Nathan - I do believe the term was used to describe the death of an infant by dint of physical abuse of the host mother.

In any case, it is legalistically an interesting matter for jurisprudence: if, due to assault, a fetus dies in utero during the 'non-viable' period, can one charge the attacker with feticide. I would tend to think, to be consistent, one ought not (although the victim might be due additional tort liability).

But... not really the forum for such a debate.

A) Plenty of men have been lectured to in a condescending matter by legistators

B) McCain got a pass on his temper? No he didn't! It was constant news, far more so than Sotomayor, which one would expect, given his appeal was to the Presidency. But moreover, he was not 'almost elected.' Nominated yes...

At least include SOME reflection of reality in your posts. Insisting one is right does not make one right.