Anti-fat hatred is so intense, I have actually heard on dozens of occasions from clients with severe mental illnesses, men and women who are suffering horribly, "I'd rather be psychotic than fat." Given the world they live in, I can't fault them -- they are treated better when psychotic than when obese.

My husband had a severe mental break and had to go on an antipsychotic for a while. His weight literally doubled. You would not believe the thoughtlessly cruel things that spilled out of the mouths of people around him, people who loved him and cared about him and wanted to help him. You would not believe the ridiculous judgments that I found emerging in my own mind -- though I knew precisely why he was gaining weight and had ample experience to know that it was a situation that was essentially beyond his control. I found myself having to work to stop myself from seeing him as lazy or gross. It was like trying to overcome brainwashing.

My husband is a sexy, hardworking man who has suffered pain that many could not imagine. It makes me want to scream when I read all of these judgmental responses, when I imagine people monitoring what he eats at a restaurant or cloaking selfish resentment about healthcare costs in the pablum of self-care advice.

At this point, to me it is essentially a political issue. I am extremely suspicious of the resentment drummed up by the obesity epidemic meme -- the storyline that goes "oh, fat people are making healthcare too expensive for the rest of us." Get real! Heathcare is too expensive because our healthcare system is dysfunctional and immoral. Until we have universal affordable healthcare, like any half-way decent developed nation ought to have, we are in no position whatsoever to judge each other for the state of our health. Until poor and wealthy alike can live in healthy environments with clean water and air and accessible, affordable, healthy food, we are likewise in no position to judge.

Your fat hatred is a distraction and your advice ain't helping. You are just furthering the cause of "divide and conquer."

I thought for sure it was the Democratic party that likes to pretend it's gay friendly.